Held In Contempt (Of Magic and Contempt Book 2) Read online

  She was only partially right. He was in shock.

  Losing his bond to Melody had been the worst pain Asher had ever felt, and it wasn’t just physical pain either. It was like someone had taken a knife to his soul. He felt detached, isolated, and afraid. It was akin to losing a parent, even though his bond was so newly forged. It was a deep connection already, speaking to experience on Melody’s part and the strength of her magic, of her suitability for him, and of his need for her.

  By the end of the first week, Asher was at his wit’s end. Turning his anger on Ryan when he was turned away again, not even permitted to enter the cottage.

  “If she doesn’t want to see me again, let her tell me to my face, but don’t let her hide behind you like the coward that she is!” he roared at the other wolf.

  The next instant, Asher was nearly smothered in the ozone stench that announced magic, before he was hit with a force that pinned his arms to his sides, his legs together, and prized his jaws apart, stuffing a pocket of air in his mouth so he couldn’t talk.

  Nick was standing just behind Ryan’s shoulder, dark circles under his eyes, and a frown on his face that would make a lesser shifter soil themselves. His eyes blazed golden with long vertical slits for pupils, telling Asher that this dragon was barely holding his shit together. Ryan stepped back out of the way to let Nick do what he wanted.

  Rather than being flung across the green verge like Asher expected, he was dragged inside and held still at Melody’s bedside, where her pale and profusely sweating form lay far too still. Every now and then she took a shallow breath, but it seemed to take so much effort that Asher’s bones ached in sympathy. There was a tube leading away from her nose, and taped to her face. Oz sat there with a syringe full of a green mixture, and as Asher watched in growing horror, Oz pushed the plunger, the thick goop travelling up her nose and out of sight.

  “It’s a feeding tube,” Nick whispered quietly. “It goes down into her stomach. It’s the only way we can keep her alive, the fever is not natural and is burning through her, although the wounds themselves are not infected.”

  Nick pointed to the foot of the bed where a clear plastic bag hung full of yellow liquid. Some more trickled in from a hose that disappeared under the blankets and Asher realised that it was her urine. It was like a hospital room in there, except more homely.

  The gag was removed from his mouth.

  It was only then that Asher realised how dark it was, and how much his shifter sight was compensating. “Why is it so dark?” he asked, also whispering, seeing it seemed to be the thing to do.

  In the deepest shadows of the room, something stirred, and Asher’s eyes strained to see who it was, until they sat forward. It was Dean, who looked so desolate that Asher wanted to weep. Dean’s normally slightly shaggy blonde hair was currently brushing his shoulders in a bushy halo around his head, and his canines protruded from behind his upper lip. Large black pupils rimmed with gold regarded him with a hatred that at once burned so hot and so cold, Asher actually feared for his life.

  “Dean is like a heart monitor. He tells us when she’s in pain, and where. We know that when she wakes the light is too bright for her, but apparently the same is true even when she’s unconscious. Even now light and sound are painful for her, so we whisper and we dim the room as much as we can. When she’s better, I’ll put a spell around her head so it is only her vision that’s darkened, but right now, I need to conserve my magic in case she needs me, and I don’t want any more magic around her while the curse is winning.”

  “It’s winning?” Asher asked, aghast.

  “For now. It’s worse this time, but I have hopes that it will settle. She’s stopped vomiting, which is a plus. I’ve been able to remove her IV line.” He pointed to a silver stand in the corner that Asher had missed seeing.

  The IV stand was next to Dean, who started growling. “It’s probably best that you go now, Asher. I don’t know how much longer I can keep his lion in check. He half shifted when he knew I was bringing you in and I had to slap a pause button on it or he would have ripped you to shreds even as you were bound in my spell.”

  The spell around Asher dissipated, leaving him free to move. Slowly he backed towards the door. “Is she going to die?” he asked, reluctantly.

  Nick looked at him, his face bleak. “Not if I have any say in the matter.”

  Asher walked out and sat on the front porch. He wouldn’t leave until she was well. Keeping vigil was the least he could do. He stripped and shifted, curling up on the small porch.

  Trent merely glanced at him when he left to go back to his quarters for the night, but the others growled whenever they passed him.

  Get the fuck out of here, mutt, snarled Justin one afternoon, speaking in his head, startling him. Asher had known they were talking somehow, but he hadn’t thought it was like this. It must have been the dragons using their magic.

  Mrs Hardinger brought him some broth and made him shift back and eat it. She’d only just left and Justin caught him in his human form. “I can’t, I can’t leave her. I’m hers, even if we’re not bonded.”

  “Then give her some fucking space.”

  Asher wondered if he should tell the dragon, let him know the ironic secret, the powerful word that his wolf chanted continuously in the back of his head.

  Mate, mate, mate, mate.

  It was like a drum, a heartbeat, a reason to keep living. If she died, his wolf would demand that they joined her.

  No, he couldn’t tell him. Not yet.

  Asher didn’t know what he wanted to do. He was afraid that if she survived, she wouldn’t want him. The idea was tearing him in two. If he couldn’t have her, there would be nobody else for him. Ever. She was his mate, his sun, his moon. No matter how hard he tried to resist her, that tantalising taste of her bond would haunt him forever.

  He knew he faced one of three outcomes: one, she died and he did too. Two, she lived and refused to accept his challenge—his wolf would die of shame. Three, she lived and forgave him, allowing him to challenge her again.

  One chance in three; they were not good odds.

  After almost two weeks, a faint hint of her scent reached his nose, and inside him, his wolf howled. Justin, who was passing him again, cocked his head. His dragon must have sensed the grief in that noise.

  “She’s my mate,” Asher said, quietly.

  “Fucking hell, she’s going to just love that,” Justin growled, laughing bitterly. “Just how many fucking mates can one witch have, anyway?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I haven’t asked him, but I’m pretty sure she’s Dean’s as well. His cat went apeshit the first time he scented her. He’s been fixated ever since. Trent is just as intense. He says his fox has chosen her. I don’t know what that means for foxes, I didn’t think they had fated mates. Either way, they’re hers. She’s got us all by the balls, man, and we’ll die to protect her. Make sure you’re willing to do that too, because she fucking needs us.”

  With that cryptic comment Justin walked off towards the main buildings. An hour later, he returned with a basket full of delicious scents. The dragon paused long enough to reach in and grab a couple of drumsticks, tossing them to Asher who caught them. “If you want more, fucking get it yourself,” he growled, but it was the last time that he told Asher to leave the porch.

  Asher had no idea what Justin meant and he didn’t know what they would face when she finally went home, he hoped that it wasn’t to Bestia. But he held no illusions about her chances of finding another one before the end of term, although Melody had been doing well. Asher didn’t like the vibe that Professor Ludwig had given off, and even if the witch could convince her coven mistress to send an invite to Melody, he didn’t want to head there either.

  If the rest of their coven were anything like Professor Ludwig, any shifter bonded to Melody would be a curiosity. Something to experiment on, someone to kick out of the way like a lazy dog, not a conscious being with their own life,
their own hopes and dreams. Asher wasn’t sure that it would be much better than Melody’s coven, although at least they wouldn’t try to kill him.

  It was a quandary that would be out of his hands, either way. The choice would be Melody’s and they would simply have to follow her, but he hoped that she got some other offers, because he was nobody’s pet.

  5. Melody

  Waking up feverish and in pain seemed to be a thing that was going to happen to her more often. Well, at least for as long as Melody kept trying to defy her aunt.

  She felt so weak, it was all she could do to lift her head and roll it from one side to the other. Her neck was stiff and she wondered how long she had lain in that position.

  “Mel?” Dean’s voice was beside her.

  “Mmm?”

  “You with me, baby?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Oh thank fuck,” he cried hoarsely, kissing her forehead gently.

  Warm, salty drops landed on her skin. Was he crying? She knew the bond was affecting him, but she hadn’t realised it was that bad. He shouldn’t be subjected to her pain like this. Damn her aunt for doing this to him, to them.

  Melody opened her eyes, but couldn’t see anything.

  “Nick’s got that spell on you again, you’re all blacked out, and the rest of them are back in the shifter dorm so that they’re not too noisy.” Gently, Dean swept her sweaty hair from her face.

  “Hot,” she managed to say, and then she felt something weird on her cheek, so she tried to scratch it off.

  “No, baby, leave that. It’s a feeding tube. You were out a bit longer this time, we had to use it to feed you. And you can’t sit up, either. There’s a catheter collecting urine,” he told her.

  “How long?”

  “Eight days,” he said. She could hear him swallow hard. “You were right, the fever was more fierce this time. Thankfully you had the feeding tube from the start, so we’ve kept you nourished and hydrated, and Nick even used it to give you the potions. I was able to monitor your pain levels, so I could tell him when it was getting too much again.”

  He was silent for a moment. “Nick’s on his way over, he wants to check you out and give you another dose. You’re not out of the woods yet, but at least you're conscious again.”

  “Tired,” she mumbled.

  “I know baby, just try to hang on until Nick gets here, okay? He’s running, he’ll be here soon,” Dean coaxed her softly.

  “‘Kay,” she murmured, and tried not to fall back asleep, but the darkness was so soothing, and her body ached so much that she never got to say hello to Nick. She was out when he got there.

  The next time Melody woke, she was still hot, only now it was the good sort. She could feel the sweat drying on her skin, making her shiver a little. Her body ached, but not in the bone crushing, sucking-out-life way that it was before. There were still vibrant streaks of pain down her back, and she suspected that they would hurt more when she really moved, but at the moment they felt on a par with the worst beating that she’d had back at her coven.

  Carefully, she rolled onto her side, the pain making the whole process agonisingly slow. Sitting up, however, was simply impossible. Her muscles refused to work, and there was an odd tugging sensation between her legs.

  “Hang on Mel, don’t move. You’re wired up to a few things, let me call Nick, and we’ll get you sorted,” the voice behind her wasn’t Dean. Melody thought it might be Ryan, but she wasn’t sure.

  He got up and sprinted out the door, returning moments later with a person she presumed was Nick. A firm cool hand was on her brow, and then the fingers moved to clasp her wrist for a few moments. “Okay, Mel, it looks like the fever has well and truly broken this time. You had a bit of a relapse the other day. How do you feel?” He lifted the spell from her eyes a little and she winced, but could see enough to tell that it was the dragon.

  A relapse? The other day? Surely it was only last night that she had first woken up?

  “Sore, my back is killing me, but my bones don’t ache anymore. My mouth is dry, but I’m tired of lying on my belly, I’m all stiff and my skin feels chafed.”

  “Yeah, we were worried about pressure sores. We’ve been moving you as much as we dared, but each time we rolled you on your side, the wounds opened again and you ended up losing more blood.” He moved around behind her. “Yeah, it’s happened again, but it’s not as bad. If you feel up to it today, we really ought to get Asher in here and let you bond him, that might speed up the healing, it seemed to help a bit after you re-bonded Dean.”

  “I doubt I could change a cricket, but I’m willing to try,” she said.

  Nick came back in front of her again and smiled. “That’s my girl.” He stroked her head. “Now, I don’t know if you remember the other night, but Dean said he told you that you had a urinary catheter in. We’ll need to remove that before you sit up properly, are you okay with us doing that? I can try and get Mrs Hardinger in to help if that’s better?”

  “No, it’s fine.” These men were doing so much for her, the least she could do was trust them. It wouldn’t be the first time she’d been tended to by male shifters. Some of the beatings her aunt had given her were worse than the ones the shifters got. “Nick, you keep saying the other night, wasn’t it last night that I woke?”

  “No, love, that was three days ago. You’ve been out of action for almost two weeks. The asshole is going a little stir crazy, but we wouldn’t let him come in until he had your permission. He’s been sleeping on the front porch, he refuses to leave, even for meals. The only time he moves away is to go and do his business in the forest, so for the sake of all the trees there, you need to at least let him in to use the bathroom,” Nick teased.

  “He’s been sleeping on the porch? But it’s still freezing outside! Nick, that’s so mean!”

  “In his wolf form, Mel, he’s been out there in his wolf form. Trust me, the beast is well protected from the elements, we even put a few blankets out there for him, but he won’t use them. Probably because Dean’s lion rolled on them first, but still, if he got desperate, they were there,” Nick laughed.

  Melody frowned but held her tongue.

  He stroked her hair back from her forehead. “You’ve got to stop thinking of us as human, I know you’ve grown up with shifters, but I don’t think you got to truly experience our cultures. We’re a lot tougher than you think,” Nick explained.

  He was right, of course. She did know that the shifters were tougher, she knew exactly how much shit they could cope with before they broke because she had seen hundreds of them broken. Asher was probably happier in his wolf form too, their beast sides didn’t worry as much as their human ones did. But he was relying on his beast side, something she didn’t want any shifter to have to do. Shifting should be because they wanted to, not because they were forced to, or needed to in order to survive.

  Melody gave in. They were grown men, they could take care of themselves. “You’re right, I’m sorry, I’m not thinking straight. Let’s get this catheter out, and then I’ll see if I can bond him. Hopefully the sooner I do it, the sooner I’ll heal,” she sighed. “It’s the worst reason ever to bond a shifter, you know that, right?”

  Nick snorted. “He brought this mess on himself, besides, with two shifters lending their strength to you, surely you’ll heal faster?”

  “I honestly don’t know, but I can try. My aunt never let me have more than one shifter at a time, and even then, it wasn’t for very long,” she told him.

  Nick opened his mouth to say something, then snapped it shut again, then repeated the sequence several more times.

  She could only imagine what was going through his head, if she could reassure him, she would. “Nick, just spit it out.”

  He turned crimson. “I was just wondering how many familiars you’ve had. I mean, it’s none of my business, but I can’t help but be curious about the woman that my dragon has his sights on.”

  Melody thought about it for a moment, how
could she answer this delicately? No matter how she put it, it was still going to shock and horrify him. There was no gentle way around it, no matter how much it was going to hurt her when he turned from her and never came back, he deserved to know the kind of monster he was considering bonding to.

  “Hundreds,” she finally said quietly, and even though the lighting was dim, she could see that he blanched.

  “They were old?” he asked, trying to understand.

  “Some, not many, most of them were about my age now.”

  “What happened?”

  Melody felt shame wash over her. She was quite sure that telling him would result in punishment from her aunt, but part of her wanted to spill everything to him. Then he would run, they would all run, and finally they would be safe. Only Dean would die. The thought of that nearly split her heart in two. She’d become far too attached to him already. These men were just too dangerous for her heart.

  “I couldn’t save them,” she finally said. It was the truth and not disloyal to her coven at the same time, but she hated that it left so much out. So much darkness and pain. What would these men think of her when they found out just what a monster she was?

  It was only a matter of time before she drove them away forever.

  6. Melody

  Melody had to heal. She had to get to the top of her class, and then she had to get out of her coven. Then she could refuse the Apex, and they would be free. The others would be better off without her, and Dean and Asher at least would be safe, even if they were bonded to a monster. Goddess, they could even ask to break the bond, without her life on the line, she would gladly give their freedom such as it was, back to them.

  Guilt slammed into her. Her life on the line. Her life?

  If it wasn’t her life on the line, it was theirs. If she wanted to live, then they were going to die. If she wanted them to live, then she needed to step up and defy her aunt, bring on the geasen and sacrifice herself for their safety.